This week has been both a trying week and an encouraging week. I think I broke through, though not to other side yet, but I got a revvy that has hit my core and I know if I ever get it, I will be free. I learned that there is a rest that God has designed for us as believers. That rest is in His love. We are to cease from dead works. Hebrews 4:9-10 Dead works is the things we do to try to "earn" God's love, we cannot earn it we already have it. So those works are dead or lifeless. Someone said once that God's work is not tiring. But it is if you are doing it to earn His love. If you are doing it out of His love for us, then we have the strength and grace to do what He is calling us to do. And in that there is no striving, no wearyness, no pain. There is rest, there is love, there is peace. I find my identity in You Father.
Another scripture that goes along with this is that His yoke is easy, His burden is light.

Father, I commit myself to You in this. I invite You in to show me where in my life I believed a lie that I had to earn love and acceptance. And then help me forgive and be forgiven and get on the other side of the lie. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen

Invade vs. invite

I was going to ask You to invade my memories and my heart to bring healing to my heart. But You reminded me that you would NEVER "invade" me, invade denotes hostile, going where you are not asked, or violating. God would never violate me. God only goes where he has been invited.
So Holy Spirit, Father God, and Jesus my Lord, I invite you to come in to my memories, and into my heart to find the places where I was once hurt and bring healing to those areas. Help me go to the places I believed a lie and bring truth to that wounded child in me and healing and comfort. I believe if I do this, I will find the freedom I seek.
It is painful. But it is needed in order to find the place where people's opinions no longer matter, where I am free to be Anna, because I know You love me and accept me just the way I am. I am ready Father to allow You in to the depths of me.
You desire truth in the inward parts. Yes.... I am ready... Come, Lord, let's take a journey together.

A house

Pro 24:3 Through wisdom is a house built; and by understanding it is established:


Pro 24:27 Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field; and afterwards build thine house


2Ch 6:2 But I have built a house of habitation for thee, and a place for thy dwelling forever.


Psa 4:8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.

Chasing God...........

Where do I begin?

Today, Father, I chase after You. You are there before me, still waiting, still loving, still so patient. And I busy myself with life. I busy myself making breakfast. I busy myself with laundry, dishes, phone calls, internet, and so many things. Yet I long to know You so much better. You who lives inside of me. You who desires truth in my inward being. Why do I run from Your love? Why do I run from Your healing touch? Why do I eat to drown out the pain and the anguish in my heart instead of running to You for relief?

Be my strong tower today, Father, as I face the uncomfortable.
Be my refuge and strength when I am weak.
Fill my heart with Your life source. Fill my mouth with Your words, and let me taste of You and know that You are good.
Today I will be still and I will know that you are God!
There is no one else I need but You.
I love You!

I think I know now where God is taking me....

Today at church, Dave preached about how God wants to be our friend, to have a greater intimacy with us. Friendship denotes intimacy. And yet, God wants us to go even further, to realize we are his child (son or daughter), He loves us and accepts us, and He approves of us just as we are, before we have done anything for Him. God wants me to find my identity as His daughter, to know He accepts me, and He approves of me. And if I have those three things as m foundation, then nothing can separate me from Him and His love. Before I can minister His grace and anointing purely, I must know those things deeply. I must have a close relationship with Him. That means talking to Him all throughout my day. Including Him in everything I do. In everywhere I go. He wants to be my best friend and my Father. What greater relationship is there? But the problem is we live like we do not have a relationship with Him. And yet He is always wooing us to Him. Longing for us to bask in His presence. Longing for us to know everything about Him. :)

I am coming, Father, I am coming....
As I draw closer, the weights of the world are falling off...
I am running to You Father, I can't be far away for long...
You are what sustains me, You are my life source...
I am drawing nearer, I need You so in my life...
I see Your arms are open wide
ready to embrace me and welcoming me home
Home is where You are...
I am running to You Father, I long for Your embrace
I am running to You Father, I need Your tender love
I am running to You Father, chains of pain are broken off
I am running to You Father, where I can find Your peace
Running, running, running

What is this?

Comforter. I want to know God as comforter. How do I find Him as comforter? How will I feel His comfort?
I have found myself in the midst of a healing adventure. It isn't what I planned, it isn't what I thought I would be doing, I just thought the pain would go away instantly. Instead, I find myself in the midst of a familiar sadness that I honeslty have been through before. But God in His infinite wisdom has decided I need to feel this pain again and face what I could not fix previously, and this time I just know it is His heart I be free from the pain of the past so I can move on to a beautiful future that He has planned for me.
But before moving on, I have to grieve what I experienced as a child and as a teenager. I have to grieve what never was, and what was... I can't say I want to, I hate it. I hate hearing those same thoughts I thought when I was younger. I hate the pain and the crying and the turmoil. And yet, I heart Him whispering, "I want to be your Comforter." How do I make Him my comforter? How do I allow Him to comfort me in my pain? That is my quest. I sit with windows open that talk about Him being comforter. They will be my meditation. They will be my daily food until that moment I find Him truly as Comforter.
I have sought comfort in food, that got me no where but fat. Food is an instant gratification that causes years of pain itself because now after years of horrible comfort eating, I have to undo what I have done. Which requires self sacrifice, and more you guessed it pain. So I need to find God as Comforter. I know when I do experience Him as comforter, then it will be easier to undo the years of not having Him as my Comforter. When He is my comfort, then I will hold more tightly to Him and not be afraid of what He thinks of me when I am sad or hurt or wounded. I will boldly go to my Comforter and allow Him to wipe away my tears and heal my wounded heart.
Holy Spirit, Be my comforter. Help me to experience your comfort that you can only give and let your peace envelope my heart and my mind today as I seek Your Face. In Jesus name. Amen.

2 Corinthians 1
Greeting 1 Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, and Timothy our brother,To the church of God which is at Corinth, with all the saints who are in all Achaia: 2 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Comfort in Suffering 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. 6 Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7 And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.
Delivered from Suffering 8 For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. 9 Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, 10 who delivered us from so great a death, and does[a] deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us, 11 you also helping together in prayer for us, that thanks may be given by many persons on our[b] behalf for the gift granted to us through many.
Paul’s Sincerity 12 For our boasting is this: the testimony of our conscience that we conducted ourselves in the world in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom but by the grace of God, and more abundantly toward you. 13 For we are not writing any other things to you than what you read or understand. Now I trust you will understand, even to the end 14 (as also you have understood us in part), that we are your boast as you also are ours, in the day of the Lord Jesus.
Sparing the Church 15 And in this confidence I intended to come to you before, that you might have a second benefit— 16 to pass by way of you to Macedonia, to come again from Macedonia to you, and be helped by you on my way to Judea. 17 Therefore, when I was planning this, did I do it lightly? Or the things I plan, do I plan according to the flesh, that with me there should be Yes, Yes, and No, No? 18 But as God is faithful, our word to you was not Yes and No. 19 For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us—by me, Silvanus, and Timothy—was not Yes and No, but in Him was Yes. 20 For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us. 21 Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and has anointed us is God, 22 who also has sealed us and given us the Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee. 23 Moreover I call God as witness against my soul, that to spare you I came no more to Corinth. 24 Not that we have dominion over your faith, but are fellow workers for your joy; for by faith you stand.